David Bridges
Imagine yourself navigating the cosmos in a sleek, torpedo-shaped spaceship, tasked with the perilous mission of salvaging valuable materials from a chaotic orbit around a distant planet. Suddenly, an enormous, alien creature resembling a giant fish appears out of nowhere, aggressively pursuing your vessel and threatening to bite your ship’s tail. It’s undoubtedly a high-pressure job, and in such chaotic circumstances, one might accidentally crash the ship. However, in the Playdate game Suborbital Salvage, your supervisor is anything but understanding, adding to the stress of your adventurous day.
Colliding with asteroids or drones results in relentless mockery from your sarcastic feline supervisor, who critiques your performance with a sharp wit. If that fish manages to catch you with its massive teeth, the blame falls squarely on you for “feeding” it—a clear violation of company policy. This cat has a clever insult ready for every misstep you make, making the experience both amusing and frustrating. The humor injected into the game serves as an unexpected reward for completing each run, as I found myself not only curious about my score but also eager to hear the next hilarious quip from my snarky feline critic after a spectacular crash.
Your primary objective in Suborbital Salvage is to gather as many of the coveted “C” tokens as you can while navigating a treacherous expanse filled with hazardous space debris and obstacles. The thrill of the chase and the challenge of survival keep players engaged, pushing them to improve their skills as they strive for higher scores.
Initially, mastering the controls of your ship can prove to be quite challenging. You must skillfully use the crank to steer the ship in the desired direction while simultaneously pressing the B button or the D-pad buttons to ignite the thrusters. The physics can feel a bit overwhelming at first, especially with that relentless fish hot on your tail. As you progress further into the game, the levels become increasingly intricate, requiring you to deftly navigate through a variety of obstacles, including asteroids, deadly mines, and what appear to be massive space mushrooms. You’ll also have to maneuver through complex, labyrinthine pipe systems, using rings scattered throughout the area to gain speed and evade the pursuing fish. Flipping the ship in a full 360-degree turn can also provide a vital boost to escape.
Throughout the game, I found myself on the edge of my seat, focusing intensely on my survival during every moment of gameplay. However, the challenge is carefully balanced; once I became accustomed to the controls and the ship’s behavior, I started to make significant progress. The added competitiveness comes from the leaderboards, which showcase how my performance stacks up against other players across different metrics such as salvage recovery, distance traveled, and overall efficiency. This competitive aspect, combined with the cat’s relentless banter, keeps the experience both entertaining and humbling. You might come for the exhilarating space adventure, but you’ll definitely stay for the witty remarks of the trash-talking feline.
Some of my favorite lines from the cat include: “I don’t know if it’s occurred to you, but… You really should try flying through the rings, not into them”; “You know, most people try to steer AWAY from space rocks”; and “Are you between a rock and a hard place? No really. Where did you go?” At one point, the cat simply quipped, “Just be better.” In the game’s Settings menu, players have the option to switch the dialogue from “Roast me” to “Shutup cat,” but honestly, why would anyone want to mute such entertaining commentary? Suborbital Salvage, developed by Games Right Meow, is available for download in the Playdate Catalog for just $8, making it an affordable and engaging addition for any gaming enthusiast.
