Online game diversifications have all the time had a foul rap, however no less than in comparatively latest reminiscence, issues have felt like they’ve turned the nook. On the field workplace we’ve had first rate, if not wonderful, household motion pictures like the Sonic sequence, Illumination’s Tremendous Mario Bros. film, and Detective Pikachu, whereas streaming has given us a veritable boon of killer sport diversifications, like Arcane, The Final of Us, and Castlevania. However maybe very like the humor of its supply materials, the Borderlands film is again to remind us with a plodding thunk of simply how unhealthy issues was once.

Critiques for Eli Roth’s adaptation of the enduring Gearbox sci-fi shooter sequence have come pouring in at present forward of the movie’s opening this week—with Borderlands sitting at simply 3% on Rotten Tomatoes as of writing. So, how unhealthy is the movie? The reply, it seems, is “extraordinarily.”

“The most important downside with Eli Roth’s Borderlands isn’t that it’s unhealthy, it’s that it’s not attention-grabbing sufficient to be unhealthy. It’s mass-produced pabulum,” writes William Bibbiani for The Wrap. “All the perimeters have been sanded down so it may be secure and mainstream, however they went too far and there’s nearly nothing left. It’s technically a film primarily based on Borderlands. Not a lot else.”

“The hyper-stylized aptitude of the Borderlands video games is replicated solely on probably the most superficial stage, and with a PG-13 ranking, all of the limb-severing gore, dirty-minded humor, and uniquely deranged themes are changed by recycled blandness geared towards mass marketability,” provides IGN’s Matt Donato. “It’s the worst-case-scenario Borderlands film that goes towards every little thing Borderlands stands for as a sequence–a depressing failure.”

“It’s conceivable that longtime followers of the online game may get extra out of Borderlands, however I wouldn’t rely on it,” concludes the Hollywood Reporter’s David Rooney. “At one level, Claptrap returns to operational mode after a heavy-weaponry assault and says, ‘I blacked out. Did one thing essential occur?’ Not on this film.”

Even amid the biting put-downs and an oddly stacked, albeit apparently wasted solid—which incorporates the likes of Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, and Ariana Greenblatt—one factor reviewers can agree on apart from Borderlands‘ distinct lack of high quality is that no less than famous backyard chainsaw fanatic Cate Blanchett has a good time because the movie’s fundamental character, the psionic bounty hunter Lilith. In truth, the theme of most opinions thus far appears to be befuddlement that Blanchett even signed up for the movie within the first place.

“Blanchett seems to get pleasure from striding round in slinky leatherwear with holsters strapped throughout her hips prepared for some lightning-fast gunslinging,” Rooney’s assessment continues. “However the function is thinly drawn, reduce from a well-known template of powerful, cynical, cool-headed feminine motion figures. Any hope for extra of the campy authority Blanchett delivered to Thor: Ragnarok goes unrewarded.”

“Blanchett barely tries to embody her protagonist as a three-dimensional human being,” says Every day Beast’s Nick Shager. “And whereas that’s clever (because the script makes such an endeavor unimaginable), her cooler-than-cool posturing is painfully affected and unconvincing, as are her faux-badass wisecracks and threats.”

“The possibility [for Blanchett] to channel her interior Clint Eastwood in all probability performed an element as nicely. Possibly she merely wished to do the action-hero factor in a VFX-filled potential franchise-starter,” muses David Worry for Rolling Stone. “What we wish is a time machine, which might permit us to journey again to the second Ms. Blanchett first picked up the “script” for this unholy catastrophe and plead: Don’t do it.”

Maybe then, not even Blanchett can save us from a return to the gaming adaptation darkish ages. “Go play the Borderlands shooters. Go watch six-hour gameplay movies of it on YouTube. Go get a number of chlamydia checks again to again. Each a kind of choices are way more helpful and much, far much less painful than this,” Worry concludes. Ouch.

Borderlands hits theaters tomorrow, August 9. In case you dare, apparently.

Need extra io9 information? Try when to count on the newest Marvel, Star Wars, and Star Trek releases, what’s subsequent for the DC Universe on movie and TV, and every little thing that you must learn about the way forward for Physician Who.