‘Cellino V. Barnes’ review: The much-memed injury attorneys get the parody we deserve

What are you aware about Cellino and Barnes? In case you’ve hung out anyplace close to Buffalo, New York, you would possibly know of them because the regulation agency behind the insidiously catchy jingle that performed for over 25 years throughout TV and radio: “Cellino and Barnes! Damage attorneys! 800-888-8888!”

However you do not must be a neighborhood to have heard this dastardly ditty; it is spawned a celebrity-studded viral problem, in addition to a Saturday Night time Stay skit. After all, their by accident amusing billboards are a meme unto themselves. However even when you understand nothing else about their sordid historical past, that is greater than sufficient to enjoy each second of the brand new off-Broadway comedy Cellino V. Barnes. 

Within the vein of latest off-Broadway hits like campy Celine Dion jukebox musical Titanique and Cole Escola’s Mary Todd Lincoln spoof Oh, Mary! (which has since made the leap to Broadway), Cellino V. Barnes is much much less involved with the reality behind their story, and much more centered on unleashing madcap humor upon its giddy viewers. In truth, studying up on the real-life Ross Cellino and Steve A. Barnes solely makes this present extra exceptional. Performed by Eric William Morris and Noah Weisberg, these regionally recognizable “ambulance chasers” will not be the mercurial household man and the hard-nosed navy vet depicted within the 2020 New York journal exposé, which totally detailed their break-up after many years collectively. As a substitute, playwrights Mike B. Breen and David Rafailedes reimagine them as an smug buffoon and his slyly subtle sidekick, decided to make massive bucks by means of advertising… and ambulance chasing. 

Over the course of simply 74 minutes — with no intermission — Cellino V. Barnes spins a narrative that’s outrageous, entertaining, and even a bit poignant. 

Cellino V. Barnes reimagines its heroes in a buddy-cop comedy. 

Swaggering on stage in a pointy plaid go well with, suspenders, and clip-on tie, Eric William Morris immediately depicts Ross Cellino as Gordon Gecko wannabe, a “greed is nice” businessman who refuses to play by the foundations. Against this, Noah Weisberg’s Steve Barnes — sporting a brilliant blue go well with and a bald cap slicked with an unflattering ring of brown hair — is comically conciliatory, showering the hot-shot nepo child with reward to get a job at Cellino’s dad’s agency. The place others see this slick slip-and-fall lawyer as a huckster, Barnes sees in Cellino’s shameless litigiousness — he’d even sue a canine! — an enormous potential for fame and fortune.

Minutes into their assembly, they’ve not solely bonded however are plotting their very own regulation agency. And naturally, which means they want what each self-respecting legal professional has: a jingle.

A pitch-perfect spoof of each dangerous musician biopic, Cellino V. Barnes presents the creation of the teeny tune as a second of divine inspiration. A highlight shines on Barnes, who has a weird affinity for the quantity eight. Then, like an angel — or “Cellino Dion” — he lets free the unforgettable jingle, incomes applause and giggles from the realizing viewers. And that is simply the primary half. 

Eric William Morris and Noah Weisberg make a crackling comedy duo. 

Credit score: Marc Franklin

From the second their characters join over a daft lawsuit, Morris and Weisberg click on. Along with his chest out and his chin within the air, eyes wild, Morris has the gusto of a coked-up Foghorn Leghorn, whether or not he is venting about his daddy points or ranting about his deranged dedication to women hockey. Weisberg balances this manic power with a bouncy guilelessness, even because the pair talks loan-sharking or a selected case submitting so juicy it is mainly orgasmic. 

Collectively, the 2 create a fast-paced and fluid banter that ranges from bonkers bromance to brutal break-up. Playwrights Breen and Rafailedes give them the gas with a screenplay that’s relentlessly full of jokes. In the meantime, administrators Wesley Taylor and Alex Wyse have created a easy staging of some submitting cupboards, a desk, and a handful of workplace provides, with a near-breathless pacing. Every time a bit runs the danger of rising stale, the play swiftly shifts, anticipating the viewers’s flagging curiosity by presenting a brand new plot improvement or a contemporary gag. And Morris and Weisberg make all of it look simple as they leap throughout many years, from 1997 to 2007 to the 2010s, making a compelling arc even amid the acute silliness. 

I did not anticipate Cellino V. Barnes to make my coronary heart flutter. 

Credit score: Marc Franklin

Earlier than seeing this play, I did not spend a lot time pondering the emotional weight of the break-up of Cellino & Barnes. I might wager to say that I am like loads of New Yorkers, the place I used to be principally shocked and a bit bemused when their billboards took sides, both turning into Cellino Regulation or the Barnes Agency. However sitting within the Asylum theater, I discovered myself gasping in alarm when the 2 began throwing down “passive-aggressive memos” (which, sure, are primarily based on actual — and actually petty — missives between the previous regulation companions).

Whereas Cellino V. Barnes is an unabashedly foolish spoof of the damage attorneys’ story, it is also empathetic. Amid the manic mugging of Morris and the comedic clucking of Weisberg, the 2 set up such a wealthy chemistry that it stings when their characters flip their hearth on one another. Maybe that is why the play ends extra sweetly than the precise Cellino and Barnes story, wherein they grew to become estranged earlier than the latter died in a airplane crash in 2020. Like Livid 7, the Quick and Livid film to which all performs dream to be in contrast, Cellino V. Barnes presents its audiences a sweeter decision that invitations us to rejoice the long-running partnership over its messy ending (or a minimum of alongside it). Maybe the fats payday shouldn’t be the thousands and thousands earned from private damage lawsuits, however the pals we made alongside the best way? 

Ultimately, Cellino V. Barnes is sublimely silly and a bit sensible. Relishing within the tabloid components of the true story, its playwrights spin a yarn that does not lean so laborious into the true attorneys that an unfamiliar viewers is likely to be left within the chilly. Dedicated and kooky, Morris and Weisberg create characters entire fabric which can be as hilarious as they’re compelling. Mixed with a quick path, this play’s humor hits so quick and laborious, it is not simply thrilling. It is likely to be precisely the form of the shock to the system its crooked counselors would drool to litigate over. 

Cellino V. Barnes is taking part in for 12 weeks on the Asylum in New York Metropolis.